Well I think Dr G was wrong

According to Dr G, I would be 16DPO today but I'm not getting my hopes up at all. I think I'm probably only 10 or 11DPO and my temp dipped a little this morning so I think I'm about to start the downward slope towards AF.

On the positive side, I believe that although I O'd later than expected that it was a good ovulation so next cycle, I'm going to ask for a trigger shot. If he won't give it to me then I'll insist upon a day 21 test and just keep the BD up until I am extremely confident that O has well and truly happened.

Yesterday was a pretty crap day at work. My boss gave me a combing down because there has been a few more accident reports coming from the preschool room than normal because we had a new child start who was initially quite aggressive but has improved. She said to me "Everybody has personal issues at home but while you're here, you need to be completely switched on because this is work and you're on my time." I think she should have spent the day with this child when he first started and then tell me that. I don't believe my personal issues get in the way of my work. It was very disheartening and really got me down.

Today I'm going to my best friend's baby shower. As my mood is already a bit on the down side, this is not going to be easy but I have to paste a smile on my face and be really excited for her. I hate that I'm not really excited about this baby because after all, she is married to my brother and this is going to be my nephew. I think I'll come home tonight and have a little cry.

Another pregnant cousin again :-(

My 23 year old cousin recently announced her engagement to her 47 year old boy friend. Now she has announced her pregnancy and I am completely over it. He is gonna be in a retirement village by the time the kid gets married. I would make a much better mother.

I think I have ovulated now but much later than the doc was expecting and we've completely missed it. Why can't things just be simple for us??

Another failed cycle :'(

Well I believe this is going to be another failed cycle. My temp is not spiking to indicate that I have O'd which it should have by now. I think there may be a possibility that I'm Oing later than the doctor thought as my body is stubborn and in that case, we have little to no chance of getting UTD as DH retired from BD as soon as we had finished the required amount of days as per doctor's orders.

Next cycle I am definitely demanding a day 21 blood test to confirm O because I'm starting to get very impatient again.

The Dreaded 2WW...

Well here I am in only my second 2WW of this year and it is July! Hopefully we'll be able to keep this ovulating going and surely we'll get UTD soon. I'm already trying to spot symptoms that don't exist. My bbs don't hurt at all and I'm not cramping or anything. I usually get PMS around 7DPO so that will be a big indicator I think.

I'm just trying to think of a list of activities to keep me busy for the next 10 days:
1. Read '50 Shades of Grey' as I must know what all the hype is about.
2. Read the other two books from the series if I enjoy the first book.
3. Organise my study (It looks like a bomb went off in there.)
4. Organise a baby shower present for my bestie. If AF is planning on visiting, she'll be here in time for the baby shower so that should be a ball of fun.
5. Get back into my exercise routine- not anything really active just in case there is a bubs in there.
6. Clean up the spare bedroom- It too has become a storage room.
7. Get the vacuum cleaner repaired (If we can ever find the warranty papers for it).
8. Organise a healthy eating program.

Hopefully I can come up with some more stuff because that stuff won't keep me busy for another 10 days.

On another topic, the neighbours wife has left him and over the last few days she's been moving out and I find it hard to believe that there's anything left in the house. I said to DH "This is why you need to be nice to your wife or she'll leave you and take all of your shit."

Ovulation Day :-)

I went for another scan last night and the doc said that I had a 20mm follicle and that I should ovulate in the early hours of the morning, which is really exciting as that makes two ovulations in two months. I've had a terrible cough and migraines this week so I wasn't overly keen last night but we got the job done. We'll get busy again tonight but I think tonight is probably too late as I felt quite intense O pains early this morning. Hopefully my eggs live for 24 hours.

If this cycle doesn't result in pregnancy, then the silver lining is that I'm finally ovulating regularly.

Another pregnant cousin :-(

Well my cousin has just announced that she is pregnant with her 4th child. I know she's been trying for a long time and had a couple of miscarriages so I shouldn't feel bad about it but I look at her other children and she can barely afford to clothe them, feed them and control them. They all look like nobody owns them :-( I'm sorry that I sound a bit bitter. I think everyone should have as many babies as they want but you should be able to care for them properly if you have them.

Just feeling very blahhhhh about it. I had to smile and say "That's great!" when Mum told me. I think she could see that I was being fake with my enthusiasm. I just hope to god that I'm at least pregnant by the time this baby arrives or I may go completely insane.

The Pressures of Life...

DH has just started a new job which requires him to travel an hour to get to get to work and he starts work at 6am so the alarm goes off at 4am every morning. I'm beginning to get used to sleeping through this early morning wake up but I'm worried about how it will affect our baby making efforts.

He is working up to 9-10 hours a day and with the travel on top of that, it equates to a 12 hour day. He's been coming home exhausted and very grumpy at times and definitely not in the mood for any between the sheets shenanigans.

I'm currently CD8 and usually O fairly late in the cycle (CD19-20) so he's got a little bit of time to grow accustomed to his new routine but I can already see it causing a few disputes between us around O time when I start to stress about "getting the job done."

I miss the old days when we used to do it just for fun. These days it has become a chore. I think we've done it maybe twice since last O time and it's been almost 2 weeks of nothing but DH is showing absolutely zero interest in BD for pleasure or purpose. Definitely not feeling very wanted at the moment.

At least I can be thankful that this is a fully monitored cycle so I'll know exactly what's happening throughout the cycle and that may take some of that O time stress away.

Baby bumps every where!!

It seems wherever I turn there is a baby bump staring me in the face. Working in child care makes that very hard to avoid. Although I know that these women may or may not have been trying for a long time, I can't help but feel envious.

I torture myself by looking at pictures of my 16 year old cousin's baby on facebook. Believe me facebook is a mind field of baby photos and baby bumps. Not all of the photos are bad though. I've made some good on line buddies since my journey started and I'm happy to see their baby bumps growing.

I was supposed to have my first follie scan today for this cycle today but my doctor was sick so now I'm having it done on Friday instead. I was so looking forward to it because I'm finally going to be able to know what's going on all of the time. Oh well only a few more days....